98: Time I Am

My phone rang. I rolled over in the dark and fumbled around until I answered the call, "Hello?"  

"Hey Charles, a nurse in the Emergency Room is requesting a chaplain. A patient may be on his way out, and there's no family,"

"Anything else I should know?"

"The patient was mugged and shot. The bullet has been removed, but he's in critical condition,"

"I'll be there," I managed. My bleary eyes focused on the glowing alarm clock: 2:15am. I left the bedroom light off and swung my feet around to the cold wooden floor, pausing to ensure there was no movement or sound from my wife. We were expecting our first child, a son, in a few months, and my wife had been sleeping fitfully for weeks, usually made worse by the nights I was on call. I glanced at her face, took a breath, and crept out of the room. 

I brushed my teeth, shrugged on some clothes and a coat and made my way out into the streets of New York City. Dirty snow piled up along the sidewalks, and I breathed in icy air. If I wasn't awake before, I sure was by the time I flashed my ID at the security guard. 

Shot? No family? What had happened with this man? Questions kicked my mind. I reminded myself that finding out answers to my questions was not my job. My job was to be there for others in their suffering, to offer spiritual care in time of need through prayer, guidance, and above all, listening.  

When I listened, the questions would get answered. 

Or they would dissolve into the night.

I made my way through the dimly lit emergency room; I passed a woman with a mangled, swollen face, a man with bloodied jeans and an elevated leg wrapped in bandages, and other men and women with obvious and not-so-obvious pain. 

A few beds had curtains drawn around them. When I reached bed 88, I paused. I folded my palms. Help me God, I prayed. Help me, Krishna.  

I parted the curtain.  

A young man lay on the bed wearing a pale blue hospital gown, but I could see the edges of a white bandage that covered his upper right chest. His round, youthful face surprised me. Brow furrowed and eyes closed, his chest rose and fell somewhat unevenly. The beep of his heart rate monitor mingled with the monitors of others in nearby beds.

I approached the young man. Not wanting to wake him, I sat in one of the chairs next to the bed and folded my palms and prayed. 

Time passed by in strange, thick waves that night. At one point a nurse came in to fill me in on some more details and confirmed that the doctors had done all that they could. Although they had stabilized him as much as possible, the young man was declining - his heart had been irrevocably damaged.    

I stayed in the room, a coldness creeping into my limbs. Would this young man die alone here in Bed 88 of the Emergency Room? I mean, I was here. I resolved in those moments to stay until the end, even if I was no longer on my shift. But he had no family? Friends? 

"Who are you?" 

I started in my chair and turned to look at the curtains that had parted. A middle-aged woman stood there, her face drawn, her hair in ragged gray wisps. 

I stood. "I'm Charles Rossman, I'm with the spiritual care department," 

The woman regarded me warily. "Are you Christian?"

"Actually, I'm a Hindu chaplain,"

She frowned. "You don't look Hindu," 

I was quiet.

"But... thank you for coming. I'm Mrs. Graham," The woman's eyes landed on the young man and her face sagged. She stepped forward to his bed and wrapped her hands around his hand. "Matthew," she murmured. 

"I'll step out until you need me," I said.

"No," she turned to me, her face fierce. "Don't go, please,"

I bowed my head. "Sure, ma'am, I'll stay,"

She turned back to the patient and said, "My Matthew loved people. He would've wanted to have been surrounded by people at... this time." Tears began to pour down her face, her body wracked with gentle sobs. "Chaplain," she said, "I just got this news a few hours ago. I've been driving in the dark to get here, blinded by tears. I've had to pull over a few times to cry." The woman turned to me, her eyes bloodshot. "I can't even process that my son is dying. He is such a bright young man. You're spiritual care. Tell me something, anything," 

"The first step," he said gently, "Is to just be with your grief, even though your mind is so overwhelmed with grief*,"

"Grief is drying up my senses**, chaplain, it's hard to even see or hear you, or my son. I can't think straight,"

"For now, just be with your grief,"

"If I give in to grief, though, it seems like an ocean with no shore and I'll drown. I can't drown right now. I have to be here for my son. But I'm drowning. Please help me." The woman collapsed into a chair, her head in her hands. 

I had learned to stay afloat, to not drown in other people's grief. I had been a chaplain for over a decade - I had seen death come to babies, teenagers, middle-aged men and women, the elderly, and everyone in-between. Death could be heart-wrenching, confusing, terrifying, beautiful, profound - sometimes all those things at once. I had learned to be there for others with a gentle presence of compassion, and I had learned to let the emotions of death and suffering wash over me and away. I would not be able to function or live my life if I let each stroke of suffering and each death consume me. 

Unbidden, though, came the image of my wife resting in our bed, the light from the streetlamps filtering in to touch her face. Within her body, she carried our son. 

What if one day she received a call in the middle of the night like this? Decades of love poured into raising a good, strong man, our lives revolving around caring for him. The bonds of our hearts as strong as a thousand silk ropes.

Then with the shot of a gun, ripped away from us. Forever.

I began to sweat. My throat became dry. Silence smothered the room. 

"Chaplain?" Mrs. Graham said. She observed me, her face streaked with tears. 

The deaths I had witnessed or been a part of over the past ten years flooded my brain with images and sensations. So much pain. So much suffering. So much loss. I sucked in a breath. 

Now who's drowning? I thought. Trying to help a drowning man could mean drowning myself.

"Mrs. Graham, may I be excused?" 

She looked at me, wary and concerned. She nodded. 

I stepped outside of the curtained partition and took deep breaths. I walked away, down the emergency room past broken bodies and took a seat on the edge of the room. The deaths rushed at me, wave after wave. Not only the deaths of those I had experienced as a chaplain, but the death of my grandmother, the death of my cousin at the ocean one day, the death of a friend in college in a car accident, the deaths I had heard about in the news - school shootings, terrorist bombings, wars, earthquakes in Nepal... the deaths of entire species from overhunting and blazing fires that were overtaking the world more and more and the deaths of this choking earth.

My breaths became ragged again. My face was hot, I could feel wetness on my cheeks. I sipped air. 

In the midst of the flames of what I was seeing, the words I had been saying for so many years before I entered a room to help a patient or a patient's family surfaced: Krishna, help me.  

I grabbed onto those words. Krishna, I pleaded. How can this be? You are all good. You are supposed to be. 

A verse from the Bhagavad-gita spoke to me: Time I am, great destroyer of the worlds.*** 

Time. By dint of time, everyone was rushing into the mouth of death. Every single last one of us. No one would be spared - not me, my wife, or unborn child. We would all be destroyed. Not only living beings, but worlds. 

My chest began to shudder each time I drew breath, my hands trembled. The truth of death may be real, but the pain, the overwhelming pain of it all twisted me up. That young man did not deserve to die. Not like this. I buried my head in my hands. 

Krishna, help me. Soothe my heart. 

After seeing this form of yours as Time, my mind is disturbed with fear, Arjuna had spoken in the Gita. Please bestow Your grace upon me and reveal Your form as the Personality of Godhead, Krishna. ****

Behind my closed eyes came the image of Krishna - this Krishna was a deity who resided in a temple in the Lower East Side. He was made of white marble, about three feet tall. He held a flute to his lips, and a smile played on his face. His eyes soft. Luminous. Others might say He was a statue. To me, God had come in a form that I could see and exchange a glance with. 

The mahamantra, the prayer composed to Krishna and the divine feminine, Radha, flowed over my fever in cool waves, over and over again. 

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,

Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. 

I don't know how long I sat there, murmuring the mahamantra, my mind fixed on Krishna's beautiful form.

Still, the pull of my duty commanded me to stand up, do my job. Be there for others. Care for others.

With a deep, shuddering breath, I rose to my feet. I went to the restroom to wash my face, and then set my feet back to Bed 88. 

"Hello," I said from the other side of the curtain. 

"Yes?" Mrs. Graham responded.

"May I come in?"

"Yes," she said. 

I parted the curtain. Mrs. Graham was gazing at the face of her son, a hungry expression turning her features raw. "He's going to leave soon," she said, "I can feel it." She turned to me. "What can we do?"

She did not mean what could the two of us do to save him. What could we do to... to care for him in the deepest sense. 

"We can pray," 

The woman scoffed, but tears softened the harsh sound. "I don't believe in prayer," but a look of desperation fell over her when she turned to the face of her son. "But I have to try something. We. We have to try something to..." 

"I can pray in silence, if you prefer," I said, coming closer and taking a seat next to her. My inner tempest had calmed to the stillness of a lake. 

"No, no, Matthew should hear your prayer," she paused, then looked over at me. "You said you were a Hindu chaplain. What kind of prayers do Hindus do?" 

"The foremost prayer we make is one of love, a kind of calling out to God, to Krishna, with all of our hearts,"

The woman's eyes softened for the first time, and silence fell around us, only punctuated by the erratic beeps of the heart monitor. 

"Whatever it is you do in your tradition," she said, "I give you permission to do it with all of your heart," 

I hesitated. Whatever we do in our tradition? Would it be... improper at this time? Unsuitable?

But Mrs. Graham was looking at me expectantly. Now was not the time to debate propriety and details. 

So I looked over at Matthew, whose brows were furrowed, and sang the mahamantra. I sang in a soft tone, a gentle, simple melody. I circled to Matthew's right side and held his hand while his mother held the other. I brought to mind the image of Krishna and sang and sang. Tears poured down Mrs. Graham's face in silence and stillness.   

Matthew's heart rate became irregular and slowed. The furrow smoothed on his face, the tension I could feel in his fingers dissolved. I sang, my voice becoming hoarse, but I continued on. 

Then, the young man took a breath and exhaled. He did not inhale again. The heart monitor flatlined. Mrs. Graham closed her eyes. "Take care of him, take care of him," she murmured. 

I sang one last mahamantra and then fell quiet, holding Matthew's still-warm hand. 

*1.46

**2.7

***11.32

****11.45

Note: This story was inspired by my husband's line of work as a hospital and hospice chaplain, as well as Arjuna's experience of viewing Krishna's universal form in chapter 11. In this section, Arjuna views the flaming rivers of death and is utterly terrified, and Krishna tells him that He is time, destroyer of the worlds. Arjuna asks to be pacified, and Krishna eventually reveals to His friend his beautiful, two-armed form as Krishna once again. 

94: The Yoga Ladder

 CHAPTER 12, TEXTS 8-12

TEXT 8:

 

Just fix your mind upon Me, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and engage all your intelligence in Me. Thus you will live in Me always, without a doubt.

TEXT 9:

 

My dear Arjuna, O winner of wealth, if you cannot fix your mind upon Me without deviation, then follow the regulative principles of bhakti-yoga. In this way develop a desire to attain Me.

TEXT 10:

 

If you cannot practice the regulations of bhakti-yoga, then just try to work for Me, because by working for Me you will come to the perfect stage.

TEXT 11:

 

If, however, you are unable to work in this consciousness of Me, then try to act giving up all results of your work and try to be self-situated.

TEXT 12:

 

If you cannot take to this practice, then engage yourself in the cultivation of knowledge. Better than knowledge, however, is meditation, and better than meditation is renunciation of the fruits of action, for by such renunciation one can attain peace of mind.

73: The Heat of Speaking (and not speaking!)

CHAPTER 17, TEXT 15: Austerity of speech consists in speaking words that are truthful, pleasing, beneficial, and not agitating to others, and also in regularly reciting Vedic literature.

"Austerity" is one of those arcane words that kind of has the average person going, "Huh?"

Either "austerity" is a foreign word or concept, or there are some vague connections to being rigid, extreme simplicity, or, as Oxford Languages puts it, "conditions characterized by severity, sternness, or asceticism." This last definition comes the closest to the original meaning of austerity. 

But none of these point to why on earth anyone would undergo extreme simplicity, sternness or asceticism. No one in their right mind really wants to be an ascetic. In fact, austerity seems rather like self-harm (masochism)!

The Sanskrit word used in this verse is "tapa" which translates literally as "heat." This is because doing austerity generates a kind of heat, a personal power (or shakti) that ripples out into one's life. 

This is the phenomenon of performing voluntary suffering - we are empowered to achieve a result.

In this way, most of us have all performed austerity for some reason or other - attending school and completing all that homework in order to receive a diploma, putting in overtime hours at a job to make extra money, working out at the gym in order to get a shapely body.   

This is a law of the material world, just like the law of karma. Anyone who undergoes voluntary suffering generates power. This law can be applied in dark ways in order to gain power over others and to reach some exploitative goal, or this law can be applied in auspicious ways in order to be empowered to serve and love others with a clean and open heart. 

For text 15 of chapter 17, we see that Krishna is describing austerity of speech in the mode of goodness. What's fascinating about the wording of this verse is that to be truthful, pleasing, and beneficial in one's speech is austerity - voluntary suffering.

How could be speaking in a truthful and pleasing way be voluntary suffering? 

Because speaking in a deceitful and unpleasant and purposeless way is the default in this world. It's so easy. 

Too easy. 

To speak in a truthful, pleasing, and beneficial way takes hard work. It's depriving us of the delicious and easy tendency to gossip, complain, vent anger, blame, and criticize others. Prabhupad emphasizes that "One should not speak in such a way as to agitate the minds of others." But it's so easy to speak in such a way to agitate the minds of others! So easy! 

Especially loved ones. We know their soft and vulnerable spots - with a well-aimed word we could incite agitation and pain in their minds and hearts. Just a word.

In this verse, Krishna does not give any advice about how to speak; He simply shares the nature of austerity of speech and what it looks like. In a way, He leaves it up to us to decide what we wish to create with our personal power. 

To refrain from speaking words that agitates others is actually voluntary suffering and generates power. 

By being austere in our speech, our hearts become powerful and strong, the heat of austerity coming back to nourish us and strengthen us to love and be loved at our highest potential. 

Full purport here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/17/15/

67: Grateful for the Sting

CHAPTER 15, TEXT 20: This is the most confidential part of the Vedic scriptures, O sinless one, and it is disclosed now by Me. Whoever understands this will become wise, and his endeavors will know perfection.

For about three years of my life, my suitcase was partially or fully (very fully) packed. For three years, I lived in almost a dozen different rooms, apartments, and houses in all parts of the world.

When I began to settle down and at last moved in with my husband after we got married, I became obsessed with staying in one place. I abhorred even the idea of getting on a plane. I gave my suitcases to Goodwill with a "good riddance!" 

I then became obsessed with setting up our home. I would sometimes cackle to myself, "This is my kitchen, my bedroom, my apartment, my clothes, it's mine, all mine!" Over the past five years I have spent thousands of dollars on buying furniture, decor, plants, clothing, shoes, kitchen tools, and more plants. I must confess, I'm still consumed, because we have moved once again and are setting up our home again. 

I have become aware of a needle that jabs at my heart the more I feed this desire to buy and buy and buy. That jabbing weakens me. Over the years I have felt the sting and the resulting weakness build. 

How come this shopaholicism relates at all to this verse of the Gita where Krishna is describing a wise man who will know perfection? 

Prabhupad writes how the word "anagha" is significant in this verse because it means that Krishna is addressing Arjuna as "O sinless one." This means that to know Krishna we must be free of all material contamination and bad karma. The loophole, though, is that "devotional service is so pure and potent that once one is engaged in devotional service he automatically comes to the stage of sinlessness." This is good news for all of us, because Krishna has described devotional service as so easy that one can simply offer a leaf, flower, fruit or water with love and Krishna will accept (9.26). By such a simple, painless process, we can all become sinless. 

So if devotional service is that easy, how come we're not all doing it? How come we're not all wise and how come we're all so very far away from perfection? 

Weakness of heart, Prabhupad says. 

He writes, "The most important thing one has to surmount is weakness of the heart."

This weakness of heart determines more of our destiny than any bad karma. After all, bad karma can be lessened or even erased by devotional service. But when our very character is weak, then this is the greatest, most important thing to overcome. After all, all bad karma stems from a weakness of heart - that is what created all the negative reactions in the first place. 

So what is weakness of heart? 

"The first falldown is caused by the desire to lord it over material nature."

This is where we come back to my obsession with things. I had been so detached from my belongings and home and clothes for so long that I swung in the other direction and became obsessed with, shall we say, lording it over material nature. I became the lord of my apartment, and triumph flooded me - this place is all mine, muahaha! 

That triumph still floods me. I relish in buying more and more things, and I'm never satiated. Always looking for the next conquest to purchase. 

But the needle in my heart is beginning to sting and even make me go numb. When I get so absorbed in lording over material nature, "one gives up the transcendental loving service of the Supreme Lord." I'm so attached to material things that I feel a numbness to even performing a simple act here or there of love - you know, offer a leaf. 

A leaf, man, that's it. 

But no, I'd rather go buy a dress. Or a chair. Or a mirror. For us. Well, for me. 

From this first weakness of heart, the desire to lord it over material nature, comes the second weakness of heart, which "is that as one increases the propensity to lord it over material nature, he becomes attached to matter and the possession of matter." In this way, I become more attached and more absorbed in the possession of matter than the expression of service to the Lord. I want to enjoy myself, not have God enjoy. I am in the center, not God. 

Prabhupad concludes, "The problems of material existence are due to these weaknesses of the heart."

As long as I cultivate this weakness of my heart to lord it over material nature, so will the numbness continue to grow until I can no longer even fold my palms in prayer. 

Once again I am writing this post, unsure how to conclude because I honestly do not have a straight solution for you. It seems far too simplistic to simply say, "I shall stop lording over material nature," snap my fingers and *poof* all gone! There go my desires! Now I can engage in devotional service again! 

As I write, I realize that the only thing I can do is be aware that I even have a weakness of heart. There are plenty of people on this planet who are plagued with shopaholicsm on either or tiny or gargantuan scale who have no idea that it's a weakness of heart. They're just going along, looking for the next high by buying the next thing, not even aware that they're numbing their hearts more and more and more, the weakness draining their vitality. 

So at the very least, I am aware. I feel the sting. And in that sense, I am grateful for the sting. Maybe that's the first step of wisdom.

Full purport here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/15/20/

56: Bhakti Causes Bhakti

CHAPTER 12, TEXT 20: Those who follow this imperishable path of devotional service and who completely engage themselves with faith, making Me the supreme goal, are very, very dear to Me.

Arjuna asked which is better - "one who is engaged in the path of impersonal Brahman or one who is engaged in the personal service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead" - and Lord Krishna replies here without a shadow of a doubt that devotional service is the best of all processes of spiritual realization (Purport, 12.20).

But even though personally serving Lord Krishna with devotion is the process recommended here as the highest, most direct path to loving God, the process is also somewhat shrouded in mystery.  

A great Vaishnava saint and scholar, Srila Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur, makes this point in his commentary on a famous verse in the Srimad Bhagavatam that describes bhakti as causeless. He writes, "Here the work ahaituki, causeless, means that devotional service has no material cause (hetu)" (Madhurya Kadambini, 3).  

It's not possible to simply serve God and then after a preordained amount of time love would flood my heart. This would make love a business exchange, a kind of calculation on the grocery store receipt - 3 prayers, 5 fasts, 10 times giving in charity = love of God. 

Loving devotion, or bhakti, has no material cause. I could engage in these processes of prayer, fasts, and giving in charity for a million years and still not experience love of God, because bhakti is not dependent upon my material endeavors. 

So. The million dollar question: 

If I can't endeavor for bhakti, how do I get it?

???

Association with a pure devotee. 

Srila Prabhupad writes that this kind of association is essential to the cultivation of bhakti within the heart. In fact, Prabhupad emphasizes the essential nature of association by saying that "as long as one does not have the chance to associate with a pure devotee, the impersonal conception may be beneficial." How interesting! Krishna has just emphasized to Arjuna that bhakti yoga, without a doubt, is the best and highest path for spiritual realization, but here Prabhupad is saying that if one does not have the association of a devotee, the path of jnana (knowledge, meditation) yoga is beneficial. 

This means that associating with a devotee is a necessity for cultivating bhakti.  

But if one does not have that association, then this process of jnana yoga is your second best bet. 

Jnana yoga involves working without fruitive result, meditating and cultivating knowledge to understand spirit and matter (Purport, 12.20). These activities are all confirmed by Srila Visvanath Cakravarti Thakur as referring to "bhakti in the material mode of goodness (sattviki-bhakti) which acts as a limb of the system of jnana" (Madhurya Kadambini, 5). Being in the mode of goodness in our devotion is a great stepping stone to elevating our souls. Sattviki bhakti may never take us to our ultimate destination of love of God, but it opens the heart up to receive the love when it does come. That is why Prabhupad says that this process of jnana may be "necessary as long as one is not in the association of a pure devotee" (Purport, 12.20). 

So how come association is so essential to cultivating love in our hearts? The answer lies within a devotee's mercy. 

One may say that when or how a devotee gives mercy is dependent upon situations, so this is a material cause. But "Without the devotee having bhakti, there is no possibility of him giving mercy to others. Bhakti causes the devotee's mercy which causes bhakti in another person. 

"Bhakti causes bhakti."

This is why we cannot huff and puff away at our prayers and fasts and charities, expecting love of God to sprout in our hearts on its accord from all of these endeavors. Bhakti can only be given by one who possesses bhakti, someone with love and mercy in his/her heart. 

So either I engage in jnana yoga for lifetime upon lifetime, or I can seek out the association of pure devotees in order to take the highest, direct path to Krishna. The choice is mine, the choice is yours. 

Full purport  here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/12/20/

54: A Convenient, Joyful Process

CHAPTER 12, TEXT 5: For those whose minds are attached to the unmanifested, impersonal feature of the Supreme, advancement is very troublesome. To make progress in that discipline is always difficult for those who are embodied.

This verse of the Gita underscores the fact that one who tries to understand God in His impersonal feature is duhkham - he is miserable. 

Meditating in silence and stillness on nothing / formless light / power is actually miserable. 

A key word of this verse is deha-vadbhih, which means "those who are embodied." To try and meditate upon a formless light when we ourselves are embodied is almost impossible. 

According to the Gita, we are all an eternal spirit soul, but we are housed within a material body. When the body dies, the eternal soul moves on to another body; "The individual soul is embodied since time immemorial." The soul has been traversing from body to body to body in a neverending ferris wheel in the cycle of samsara, the cycle of birth and death in this world. Thus "it is very difficult for him to simply theoretically understand that he is not the body." This shows that theoretical understanding does not go very far. Since I am housed within a material body, naturally I identify with this body, no matter how much philosophy I read and agree with. 

I tend to believe that this body IS me. 

I can't see my soul. But I can see and feel and touch my body, so my body must be who "I" am. Prabhupad emphasizes that it is difficult for us to even understand theoretically that we are not the body - indeed, I understand somewhat theoretically that I am not the body, but that theory is hard to apply in practical, everyday life. I am typing these words with my fingers, I am seeing through these eyes, I am willing my body to move. 

I mean, the willing and the moving of my body is so seamless that I must be my body, right? 

And everyone else's body must be them, right?

Bhakti yoga does not demand that one should stubbornly refuse all connection to the body. In fact, there is the understanding that we all have an eternal form, a svarupa, in the spiritual world. 

What's more, God also has an eternal form, but he is also represented in an embodied form in this material world. Prabhupad writes, "The bhakti-yogī accepts the Deity of Kṛṣṇa as worshipable because there is some bodily conception fixed in the mind, which can thus be applied." This is so beautiful. God is meeting us where we're at; He knows that since we have been embodied since time immemorial, we're going to identify with our bodies and identify others as their bodies. 

Including God! 

We're going to believe that God in His material body IS Him. 

So presto - God gives us deity worship in order to apply our bodily conception of life. Through deity worship, we may all approach God easily and joyfully. By "[God's] incarnation as arcā-vigraha He can accept the services of the devotee, just to make it convenient for the man in conditioned life." Amazing  how Prabhupad uses the word "convenient" here. Not only is this process joyful, it is convenient. Deity worship is not meant to be miserable, like meditating on an impersonal void. In fact, for "the personalist, without any risk, trouble or difficulty, [he] approaches the Supreme Personality directly." So although this verses emphasizes the misery of attempting impersonal meditation, within the purport Prabhupad offers a solution that is simple, convenient, and direct. 

Personally, I find that when I visit the deity form of the Lord within a temple, my heart opens like a flower and love flows in my heart. I can bow down with my body, I can dance with my body, I can drink in God's form with my eyes. 

Way more accessible than sitting in silent and, well, miserable meditation. (Hey, Krishna Himself says it's miserable!) 

I'm an embodied soul, what can I say? I tend to believe that others are their bodies, including God. Ever since I was a little girl, when I would gaze up at the deity form of God, I simply understood, "This is God. God is looking at me." This process is so easy even a child can exchange love with God. This is bhakti yoga. 

Full purport here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/12/5/

45: The Darkness of IGNORE-ance, The Light of Service

CHAPTER 10, TEXT 11: To show [the devotees] special mercy, I, dwelling in their hearts, destroy with the shining lamp of knowledge the darkness born of ignorance.

People on the path of bhakti yoga focus on cultivating love and devotion, but this focus on love can sometimes be seen as a weakness. 

What about logic? 

What about philosophy? 

What about truth in all of its clear and grounded glory? 

Huh?

Prabhupad writes that sometimes "philosophers criticize the devotees because they think that most of the devotees are in the darkness of ignorance and are philosophically naive sentimentalists." I can almost hear the philosophers scoff at bhakti yogis: Your focus on "love" makes you naive and weak with sentimentality, you fools!  

Prabhupad refutes this idea by mentioning that there are many Vaishnava scholars of bhakti who illuminate the scripture with deep clarity and logic as well as devotion. 

That said, still, devotion is not a matter of philosophy or logic. Love knows no bounds. The source of all knowledge is God, and ultimately, God is dwelling in our hearts. So Prabhupad writes, "[E]ven if a devotee does not take advantage of [Vaishnava scholar] literatures or of his spiritual master, if he is sincere in his devotional service he is helped by Kṛṣṇa Himself within his heart." God is the source of all knowledge, all philosophy, all logic, all truth, and lucky us - he dwells right within our own hearts as Paramatma. If the Lord so desires, he can turn on the lamp of truth and illuminate our hearts, which are so shrouded with ignorance. 

But what does it take for Paramatma to turn on that lamp? 

Prabhupad writes that "The only qualification is that one carry out devotional service in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness." Loving service to Krishna is what illuminates the heart. No amount of studying can flood our hearts with the light of understanding, only loving service. In fact, "it is not possible to understand Him or to achieve Him simply by making a mental effort. Man can go on speculating for several millions of years, and if he is not devoted, if he is not a lover of the Supreme Truth, he will never understand Kṛṣṇa, or the Supreme Truth." I love how Prabhupad emphasizes that man could speculate for millions of years and never know God. After all, the lamp of knowledge destroys ignorance, and what is ignorance? 

I once heard ignorance defined as IGNORE-ance. To what degree am I ignoring the truth, ignoring God? The truth and God is right there. Nevertheless, for so many reasons I ignore Him, and this creates so much darkness in my own heart and in the world. The philosopher who is speculating about God for millennia could actually be coldly ignoring God. 

If I would just stop ignoring God and turn to Him within my own heart and offer my love and attention, then the light of truth and knowledge can come flooding back. No speculation for millions of years required. 

"The pure devotee always has Kṛṣṇa within his heart; and with the presence of Kṛṣṇa, who is just like the sun, the darkness of ignorance is at once dissipated."

Full purport here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/10/11/

39: The Joy of Devotion

CHAPTER 9, TEXT 2: This knowledge is the king of education, the most secret of all secrets. It is the purest knowledge, and because it gives direct perception of the self by realization, it is the perfection of religion. It is everlasting, and it is joyfully performed.

When I was thirteen years old, I read this verse in the book Illuminations from the Bhagavad-Gita by Kim and Chris Murray.

 

This illustration was the first verse and opened up the entire book. I remember very clearly reading this verse over and over, absorbing myself in the intricate artistic frame, and gazing upon the illustration of Prabhupad singing on his harmonium, his eyes closed, so obviously... joyful. 

I wanted that. 

I still do. 

When I read this verse this morning, chills raced down my arms, for this verse was one of my original sparks of inspiration to truly pursue a spiritual path. 

Now, twenty years later, I was finally reading with a studious heart Srila Prabhupad's in-depth purport, his systematic and revolutionary explication upon this famous verse. 

As a grown woman (and an English teacher!), I admired his thorough and scholarly approach to breaking down every single word and phrase. Lights flashed on in my mind again and again with each point that he made - I felt as though I was rediscovering this verse and my heart has been moved all over again. (The full purport is a great read! Link at the end of this post). 

Once again, that phrase and Prabhupad's expansion on that phrase has captured me once more: joyfully performed. 

Devotional service is joyfully performed. 

What's the point of any and all religion anyway? To be happy. Truly, deeply, eternally happy. 

Happiness is the goal, but what's wonderful is that Prabhupad emphasizes that even the process itself is a happy one (su-sukham). "Why [is it a happy process]? Devotional service consists of śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ..." Devotional service is broken down into nine processes, and here Prabhupad is saying that each and every process is joyful, specifically hearing about the Lord and singing His names. As other parts of the Gita verse mention, the process can be directly experienced, so by hearing about God and singing God's name, joy can be experienced in this very moment. 

Just try it, Prabhupad seems to say. 

There are no limitations. He writes, "In every state devotional service is joyful. One can execute devotional service even in the most poverty-stricken condition. The Lord says, patraṁ puṣpaṁ phalaṁ toyam: He is ready to accept from the devotee any kind of offering, never mind what. Even a leaf, a flower, a bit of fruit, or a little water, which are all available in every part of the world, can be offered by any person, regardless of social position, and will be accepted if offered with love." I love how Prabhupad emphasizes "any" person can engage in this process by putting the word in italics. He is saying that no matter the circumstances of wealth or social class or location or timing, anyone can experience the joy of loving God. Right now.   

Anyone. 

After all, love is not restricted by social class or location or timing. Love transcends time and place and circumstances because the very nature of the soul is to love God (nitya-siddha kṛṣṇa-prema 'sādhya' kabhu naya). That love is joyful. 

The thing is, God owns everything. Does he really need a leaf? A drop of water? A flower? 

Uh, no. 

What God wants and what God needs is our love. Prabhupad writes, "God accepts only the love with which things are offered to Him." This means that the love of the offering is what God sees and what God accepts. 

What is so revolutionary about this purport is that Prabhupad is not only giving speculative knowledge, the musings of an elderly scholar at his dusty desk. He is saying that this is a very personal and very practical process and logically, one should follow it. He writes, "[Devotional service] is the purest form of religion, and it can be executed joyfully without difficulty. Therefore one should adopt it." In its purest form, religion is the material process by which we can connect with our spiritual nature. There are many religions in the world but only one spiritual truth. What Prabhhupad is emphasizing  here is that the essence of all religion is to serve and love God with all of our hearts, and by doing so natural joy awakens within the heart. This joy is natural and the process is not difficult or restrictive. 

So...

What are you waiting for? 

"Therefore one should adopt it." 

Prabhupad's logic is so clean and clear. He is not reasoning from a place of fanaticism or smooth talking convincing or even passionate evangelism. He simply offers the deepest conclusion from expanding upon the divine words of Sri Krishna.  

Prabhupad seems to say: Adopt this verse because you will be joyful if you do. A joy that will never end, a joy that will enliven you and give purpose and meaning to all of your days and beyond.

https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/9/2/ 

37: Conceiving the Inconceivable

CHAPTER 8, TEXT 9: One should meditate upon the Supreme Person as the one who knows everything, as He who is the oldest, who is the controller, who is smaller than the smallest, who is the maintainer of everything, who is beyond all material conception, who is inconceivable, and who is always a person. He is luminous like the sun, and He is transcendental, beyond this material nature.

The name for God in Islam is "Allah," which means "The Great One." In Islam, God is never depicted with a form or in any way that could be construed as a material interpretation, for God is beyond our material conception.  

In this verse of the Gita, this understanding is confirmed - God is beyond material conception. At the same time, God is also stated as a person who has a form (rupam). The fact that God is beyond material conception while also having a form is inconceivable - acintya. After all, isn't the fact that one has a form MAKE one conceivable?? Prabhupad writes, "The word acintya (“inconceivable”) is very significant in this connection. God’s energy is beyond our conception, beyond our thinking jurisdiction, and is therefore called inconceivable (acintya)." I appreciate Prabhupad's phrase here, our "thinking jurisdiction," because we all have a kind of arena from which we can think and conceive. After all, human beings have been inquiring about and questioning God since the beginning of our existence. Healthy exploration, questioning, and even doubt is all a sign of intelligence on the spiritual path. At the same time, it is also a sign of intelligence to realize that there are some things that are beyond our understanding, beyond our "thinking jurisdiction." 

Indeed, Prabhupad continues to say that "We cannot comprehend even this material world, which is insignificant compared to the spiritual world – so how can we comprehend what is beyond? Acintya means that which is beyond this material world, that which our argument, logic and philosophical speculation cannot touch, that which is inconceivable." Even this material world is such a mystery. Although much can be puzzled out, and the sciences are dedicated to understanding how this material world functions, still, we may understand how a thing functions but not why. 

For example, we now understand how a rainbow is created, with the reflection of light upon suspended water droplets in the air. But we do not know why rainbows are created. What is the purpose of a rainbow?

That is something that logic and philosophical speculation cannot touch.  

My sense is that scientists can conclude that there is no God because they see that there is no mystery to the mathematical laws that govern the universe; they can conceive of and wrap their minds around things that previously seemed so mysterious, like a rainbow, or lightning, or the human heart. Thus there is no "mysterious God" controlling all.  

Or, scientists can conclude that there must be a God because the laws and calculations that govern the universe are so wondrous, so inconceivable that there must be a higher intelligence at work. They reason that all the laws are actually in service of a higher and more mysterious purpose and person. Aristotle once wrote that "Mathematics is the alphabet in which God has written the universe," which means that behind all miracles is an architect who plays by the mathematical rules he has created.

What's more, there is a purpose - a why - behind every aspect of creation.   

Possessing a higher intelligence means accepting that there is a higher intelligence at work. 

This is not blind following, but an understanding that there are some things that are simply beyond my conception. After all, God is the Great One, He cannot be conceived of with an ordinary mind and an ordinary intelligence. 

If He was, then how Great would He be? 

And yet, if we are to actually love God in a practical way, then He must have a form. Prabhupad writes, "One cannot meditate on something impersonal or void. That is very difficult. The process of thinking of Kṛṣṇa, however, is very easy and is factually stated herein. First of all, the Lord is puruṣa, a person – we think of the person Rāma and the person Kṛṣṇa." Just like we meditate on the people we love, this is the same for God. Although it's an aspect of God, meditating on an inconceivable void can be very difficult in terms of cultivating love. Meditating on the face of the Lord actually awakens love in the heart. And it's so easy, as Prabhupad states.  

Yes, God is The Great One - Allah - who I imagine to be this brilliant and wondrous God who is luminous like the sun (aditya-varnam) as described in this verse. 

God is not limited, though, to only being inconceivable. 

If God is unlimited, then he can also be perceived, even with our limited eyes and senses. So yes, He is The Great One, and He is also the Beautiful One with Skin as Dark as a Raincloud - Shyamasundar. 

Personally, I visit Krishna temples and love to absorb myself in the beauty of Krishna's form in His sacred deity. His form touches my heart and soul, giving rise to a kind of unique and beautiful affection, adoration, and a desire to serve.

In this way, God becomes real and luminous like the sun within my own heart. 

Full purport by Bhaktivedanta Swami here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/8/9

22: Open Heart Surgery

CHAPTER 4, TEXT 34: Just try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. Inquire from him submissively and render service unto him. The self-realized souls can impart knowledge unto you because they have seen the truth.

My husband works at a hospital as a chaplain, or a spiritual caregiver; the other day, he mentioned how one of the patients he has been visiting for a year and a half, Paul (pseudonym), received news that he will be receiving a heart transplant. Finally.

Paul was on the road to death but is now being given the opportunity to leave the hospital to continue living his life as a wonderful husband and father of two boys.

When I heard this, several thoughts passed through my mind: 1) someone had just died unexpectedly - someone young - who had been willing to donate their organs, 2) that person's heart was going to be cut out of his/her chest, 3) Paul's current heart was going to be cut out of his chest, 4) the other person's heart was going to be placed in Paul's chest. This sounds rather gory and graphic, but really, think about it. An old heart for a new heart.

And then my mind went to 5) who is the person who would complete this surgery?

???

A heart transplant surgery seems to be the equivalent of a modern miracle, and I have not the slightest idea how one would even begin to go about such a task. What I know for sure, though, is that the surgeon who will perform this "miracle" has studied for years and years and years and has practiced medicine in a residency with other advanced surgeons for years and years and years.

Similarly, spiritual life is a complex science that requires daily, challenging application.

How does one respond to the sudden loss of a loved one?

How does one respond to betrayal?

Humiliation?

Failure?

How does one respond to crisis? Hardship? Suffering?

Being able to respond with integrity in each of these situations is as complex and intense as conducting heart surgery. If mastery of a material science, such as medicine, requires years and years of study and supervised practice, why would mastery of spiritual life be any different?

Srila Prabhupad writes in his purport to this verse that mental speculation, dry arguments, independent study of books of knowledge, and/or manufacturing one's own process do not lead to spiritual realization or progress. Imagine if a surgeon simply studied books of medicine, or theorized about the function of the heart, or maybe even invented his own heart surgery transplant procedure - this would be ludicrous! Dangerous! Similarly, spiritual life is meant to be be studied and practiced under the supervision of those who know much more than we do. Spiritual life is meant to come from an authorized source with an authorized practice.

Deciding to approach a teacher for guidance is a great hallmark of material AND spiritual progress, and the mood to do so is laid out here: 1) inquire submissively, and 2) render service.

Inquiry does not always mean asking questions - true inquiry means to be vulnerable and to open the heart to truth.

Rendering service to a teacher demonstrates that "yes, I am ready to receive the truth from you and put these principles into practice." Service shows sincerity.

With these two elements, submissive inquiry and sincere service, the teacher is satisfied, and when a teacher is satisfied, blessings flow. Sometimes I wonder how certain people can go through life with such resilience, blossoming and glowing with growth on the spiritual path even when faced with so many hardships. Prabhupad writes, "Satisfaction of the self-realized spiritual master is the secret of advancement in spiritual life." So, this is their secret: satisfying the spiritual teacher through inquiry and service. In fact, "Unless there is submission and service, inquiries from the learned spiritual master will not be effective."  This shows that the student must be responsible for preparing his or her heart to receive the truth, like having fertile ground for the seed of devotion to unfurl.

That said, inquiry should not be combative or forceful or speculative, and service should not be rendered to just anyone. This makes the soil of the heart rocky, dry, and acidic. Inquiry needs to be humble and thoughtful, and service rendered should be carefully done within one's means. Prabhupad writes, "In this verse, both blind following and absurd inquiries are condemned." Striking this sincere and mature balance of inquiry and service is all a part of our own "spiritual residency."

* 

Ultimately, you could say that the spiritual path is about replacing our old and diseased and failing material heart with a fresh and healthy and vibrant spiritual heart. We are in the process of our own heart surgery - and we are the surgeons. This is what's at stake - our hearts. Our lives.

In order to undergo such a precarious transformation, we need to take shelter of knowledge that is far beyond our own understanding. We need to be guided by those whose hands are much more capable and experienced than ours.

And when the hardships come, because they will come, we can respond with that spiritual heart, the glowing, vibrant heart that is resilient beyond anything in this world.

Image by Jakobbelbin Tattoo Artist

Full purport by A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad for Chapter 4, Verse 34 here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/4/34/

17: Repression vs. Expression

CHAPTER 3, TEXT 33: Even a man of knowledge acts according to his own nature, for everyone follows the nature he has acquired from the three modes. What can repression accomplish?

The phrase nigrahaḥ kiṁ kariṣyati is translated as "What can repression accomplish?" This is a rhetorical question, because if this question is asked to any sane, intelligent person, the response would most likely be:

"A headache."

"Frustration."

"Nothing."

Repression is simply not a healthy way to live life and it accomplishes nothing. Krishna mentions that we're all conditioned by this world, "even a man of knowledge," so there's no point in denying reality and repressing one's nature and one's desires.

A very straightforward example of this is eating. The human body (and all living bodies on the planet) is built to eat and digest food. Sometimes the pursuit for not only food but delicious food is a major source of anxiety and turmoil for the living being.

So how about... not eating? After all, food is entangling - all that money! all those calories! all that time to prepare it!

But asking "How about we just stop eating?" is about as productive of a question as "What can repression accomplish?" Repressing our need to eat leads to headache, frustration, and absolutely nothing.

We need to eat. We need to sleep. We need a place to live. We need work. We need money and a livelihood. We need human connection. We need to be understood.

In this regard, Krishna advises that we do our duties and simply keep Him in our hearts with devotion. Prabhupad writes, "Kṛṣṇa consciousness helps one to get out of the material entanglement, even though one may be engaged in his prescribed duties in terms of material existence (159). This approach to spiritual life is very practical. Do your prescribed duties - do the needful - and remain conscious of Krishna. Anyone can do this. This path is open to the entire world at all times.

In practical terms, this means that I can take the food that I was already going to eat and simply offer it to Krishna first with a little love. That food then transforms my mind and even my body. This is beyond repression - this is expression of love. 

15: Win/Win Work

CHAPTER THREE, TEXT 9: Work done as a sacrifice for Viṣṇu has to be performed; otherwise work causes bondage in this material world. Therefore, O son of Kuntī, perform your prescribed duties for His satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain free from bondage.

In the purport, Prabhupad writes that "both good and evil work have their reactions, and any reaction binds the performer" (138). I'm stumped by this. I can wrap my mind around evil work having reactions and being binding (hellooooo prison), but good work? How does good work "bind the performer"?

I'm genuinely at a loss. I see no harm in doing good work. Follow the law, take care of myself and my family, contribute something to society - how is this a cause of bondage?

The only equivalent I can draw is that of a prisoner. A prisoner may follow all the rules of prison, be kind and respectful to inmates as well as guards, work out and be healthy, read good books, even learn new subjects or develop friends, but he's still just a prisoner. He may be doing "good work" but he's still in prison. 

How happy can a prisoner truly be?

A prisoner is not free.

The nature of the soul is to be free.

And in this material world, we are not free.

The nature of the soul is also to be active, though - "[the soul] is always active and cannot stop even for a moment" (3.5 Purport) - and my actions have a funny way of coming back to bite me or delight me. I often find myself tangled up in webs of bad as well as good consequences that I wish I could just cut away from.

It's well known that dopamine is the "feel good" hormone that is produced whether one is exercising, getting hundreds of Likes on a post on Facebook, or smoking a cigarette. We get addicted to dopamine, for better or for worse.

So instead of sense gratification (read: a hit of dopamine) for myself, I see in this verse that the key is to offer all work and all results to Krishna. Prabhupad writes, "Nothing should be performed for sense gratification, but everything should be done for the satisfaction of Krsna" (138). What's interesting here is that by satisfying Krishna, our senses do get pleasure! If I satisfy Krishna by offering him a cookie, then I eat that cookie, then I am not only getting free from the reactions of work, I'm also experiencing pleasure. I would call that a win/win.

Of course, offering Krishna a cookie just so that I can eat it and enjoy it is not necessarily the highest stage of selfless love and service. Ultimately, "This practice [of offering one's work to Krishna] will not only save one from the reaction of work, but also gradually elevate one to transcendental loving service of the Lord" (138). Prabhupad emphasizes that by learning to offer our work to Krishna, we are "gradually elevated" to a higher consciousness. We all need time to learn to love. And in time, the more we offer our work to God, we become free. Prabhupad writes that "While performing such activities one is in a liberated stage. This is the great art of doing work" (138). The word "liberated" is significant here, because liberated means that one is free.

Free.

We all want to be free, we all want to be free of this prison of this world. Offering one's work to Krishna is the "great art" that opens the door to freedom wide.

14: Beautiful Balance

CHAPTER THREE, TEXT 3: The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: O sinless Arjuna, I have already explained that there are two classes of men who try to realize the self. Some are inclined to understand it by empirical, philosophical speculation, and others by devotional service.

Religion gets a pretty bad rap.

In our modern society, the phrase "organized religion" is almost synonymous with "organized crime."

In fact, the words and phrases that come to my mind with the word religion are: strict, shallow, fanatics, meaningless rituals, sanctified violence, suppression of women, power-tripping men at the top, and ego battles. Just a few. I'm sure you could provide a few more colorful phrases to add to that list.

With so many negative connotations to the word religion that are, frankly, kind of warranted, no wonder the phrase of choice today is: "I'm spiritual but not religious."

In this verse, though, Krishna describes that on the spiritual path there are two classes of people - one class wants to understand the spirit through philosophical speculation (sankhya-yoga) and the other class by devotional service (karma-yoga / buddhi-yoga). Prabhupad translates these two principles as philosophy (or "spirituality") and religion, and both are valid approaches.

Yes, religion.

Huh?

I thought religion was strict, shallow, and fanatical?

Definitions are a great place to start. Often, we get carried away with the connotations of a word without truly examining what the word means. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, religion is: "the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods." Okay. No mention of strict, shallow fanatics. But I think what gets warped in our modern context is the word "worship" - worship then translates as practical action, which can translate as rituals that are acted upon in very shallow, fanatical ways. Unfortunately, this is common in religious circles.

Conversely, the definition of spirituality is: "the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things." So far so good. Being concerned with the spirit over material things sounds like a pretty great aspiration. That said, the "quality of being concerned" is rather vague. How does one put being "concerned" into action? I could be "concerned" all day and all night about the soul until I die, but if I never act upon or show that concern, then really my spirituality has little to no substance. It's simply that - a concern. Airy philosophy.

The key is that religion and philosophy are interdependent (133) and must be combined. Srila Prabhupad offers a famous statement: "Religion without philosophy is sentiment, or sometimes fanaticism, while philosophy without religion is mental speculation" (ibid).

This means that when religion does not have a deeper concern for the human spirit or higher understanding, it is just a shallow display of sentimental rituals and worship. An excessive attachment to those rituals and regulations shows up as fanaticism. Go figure.

The other side of the coin, though, is that when philosophy is not combined with practical action, one just speculates about truth in circles forever and never acts on those beliefs. Then there's no deep substance to those beliefs. The dreaded "armchair philosopher."

Unfortunately, it is so easy to swing to one side or the other, and the hardest practice is to balance the two. If fact, we could all introspect about our own approach and consider: Which side do I fall harder on - the religious or spiritual side? Which side do I sense I need to develop more?

That said, while both philosophy and religion are interdependent and crucial for balanced spiritual growth, Prabhupad emphasizes that practical action is easier for human beings. We sometimes have a hard time with philosophy. We need practical experience, we need activities that awaken our hearts to love and to the human spirit. I have often experienced that when I'm not "feeling it" and have no concern whatsoever into the "human spirit" and philosophy, if I can just DO some worship - offer some flower, sing some song, fold my palms, anything - my heart awakens to love and to spirituality. I have experienced this awakening during Catholic mass when I kneel as well as opening my palms during prayers in a mosque as well as singing the holy name in communal kirtan in a temple. Devotional service is not restricted to any particular religious path.

In this way, Prabhupad emphasizes that "devotional service is simultaneously easy and sublime" (133). This phrase is so perfect, devotional service, for it implies the perfect balance of spiritual and divine concern (devotional) and the practical and accessible action (service).

Religion is underrated.

Spirituality is overrated.

The balance of the two is more challenging to strike, and yet when we find that beautiful balance, when we offer devotional service, the process is truly easy and sublime. 

13: Ocean of Peace

CHAPTER TWO, TEXT 70: A person who is not disturbed by the incessant flow of desires – that enter like rivers into the ocean, which is ever being filled but is always still – can alone achieve peace, and not the man who strives to satisfy such desires.

Sometimes - well, most of the time - desires flow through my mind with the force of the Amazon River. I want a muffin, I want cheese fries, I want a gorgeous house, I want to take a yoga class, I want to dye my hair blue... I want I want I want... in fact, while I was looking up pictures of the Amazon River, the desire flowed into my mind: I want to travel to the Amazon. 

All day, every day, flowing in and in and in. 

If I give in to those desires, I often feel swept away, flailing and drowning in the attempt to be satisfied. Case in point - the muffin I wanted this morning. Or should I say, muffins - I ate one too many, and now my stomach feels stretched, I shift in my seat in discomfort. 

Desires desires desires.

All day.

Every day.

Flowing in and in and in.

Until I burst.

When I strive to satisfy my desires, I get swept away in the current. When I try to stop them - well, let's just say that's like standing in the middle of the Amazon River with a hand out yelling "STOP!"

Yeah. All pretty futile. 

Srila Prabhupad acknowledges the futility of fighting desires when he writes that "As long as one has the material body, the demands of the body for sense gratification will continue" (128). As long as I'm alive until my last breath in this body, I will demand and yearn to enjoy. This is the reality. 

So we are truly in a predicament in this world, suffering at the mercy of our desires.  

In this verse, Krishna gives us a vision of one who can overcome this predicament: Although rivers of desires flow into the ocean, the ocean "remains the same - steady; it is not agitated nor does it cross beyond the limit of its brink" (128). The ocean does not swell or shrink, no matter how big or strong the river and flow of our longings. The ocean remains steady, still, at peace.   

So how can one become like the ocean, instead of being swept away by the Amazon River of desires? How can one truly be desireless in order to be at peace? 

Prabhupad illuminates the solution: "Real desirelessness is desire for the satisfaction of Krsna, not an artificial attempt to abolish desires" (129). The phrase here "artificial attempt" shows that it is only natural for the soul to desire. In fact, to desire is the function of the soul. So there is no need to abolish desires. The key is to use this natural propensity to enjoy and satisfy our longings by satisfying Krishna.  

Naturally, I wonder why it's necessary (or even recommended) to satisfy Krishna. Prabhupad writes, "One who is situated in this perfect stage [of knowledge] knows that because Krsna is the proprietor of everything, everything must be used for the satisfaction of Krsna" (129). If Krishna is the proprietor, this means that he is the source of everything, the ultimate source of satisfaction. 

When I was a teenager in Hawaii, I used to ride my bike out along a mountain trail to watch the sun set on the Pacific Ocean. Just gazing at the glassy, luminous water that stretched off into the limitless horizon, my mind would quiet. 

Krishna is like that ocean. He is so vast, limitless, and steady, for He is the proprietor of everything. He is vast enough to contain my feverish yearnings and deep longings, no matter how furious my river of desires flows into Him. All I need to do is take those yearnings and longings and redirect them to the "transcendental loving service of the Lord" (128) - just offer the muffin (and cheese fries) to Krishna. Place Krishna in the center of the gorgeous house. Meditate on Krishna when I take yoga. Um... dye my hair blue... to the shade of Krishna's skin...? ;)

Let the desires flow in and let them flow out - to Krishna. He can hold me. Then my mind and heart may become like the ocean: steady, still, at peace. 

The Amazon River flowing into the Atlantic Ocean

10: One Percent Effort

CHAPTER 2, TEXT 40: In this endeavor there is no loss or diminution, and a little advancement on this path can protect one from the most dangerous type of fear.

Pop Quiz: Who was Thomas E. Dewey?

I'll bet you have absolutely no idea.

Here's another Pop Quiz: Who was Harry S. Truman?

I'll bet you'd say that he was the President of the United States in the 40s (or something like that).

In 1948, Democratic candidate Harry S. Truman won the presidential election against Thomas E. Dewey, who was the Republican candidate. Truman had about 24 million popular votes and Dewey had about 22 million popular votes.

This means that at one point in history, Dewey was known and supported by almost 22 million people in the United States.

Today? Because he did not win the presidency, he is virtually unknown.

In this purport to Verse 40 of Chapter 2, Prabhupad writes that "Any work begun on the material plane has to be completed, otherwise the whole attempt becomes a failure" (103). Dewey did not complete his journey to the White House, so he failed. You know how hard it is to run for president, to garner the momentum and support of 22 million American people? You have to spend millions of dollars and pour your life's blood into the journey. But because Dewey did not achieve the right amount and kinds of votes (including the electoral college), he simply failed.

He's not even known for being defeated by Truman. He's just not known.

We could give so many examples from history of people who were the runners-up - the presidential candidates, the nominees for awards, the Olympic athletes who almost won a medal, the finalists for the Superbowl or World Series or National Spelling Bee or any other championship. If you don't win - even if it was because of bad luck or you made a tiny mistake - then in this material world you're basically a failure.

It's all or nothing.

But in this verse, Krishna is saying that in this endeavor for spiritual enlightenment, "there is no loss or diminution."

Prabhupad emphasizes that any work done in Krishna consciousness is permanent, even if it's not complete. He illustrates this principle beautifully in the purport: "One percent done in Kṛṣṇa consciousness bears permanent results, so that the next beginning is from the point of two percent, whereas in material activity without a hundred percent success there is no profit" (103). Prabhupad is offering such an accessible possibility - one percent effort (it was "done"). Not even one percent success, one percent effort. And whenever I choose to give my next percent - whether it's tomorrow or fifty years from now - then I will pick up right where I left off.

In this regard, the other day my sister brought me a bouquet of flowers, so I put one flower in a little vase and placed it in front of a picture of Krishna. I took a few quiet moments to stand back and admire the flower and the picture with a smile on my face. I felt a glimmer of affection. Then I moved on with my day.

I didn't buy the flowers or even offer the flowers with deep love. I gave one percent effort. Certainly for a material endeavor to give one percent is pitiful, even disgraceful. But for a spiritual endeavor, one percent is glorious. Why?

The effort and results are eternal. So even when I and all beings on this planet have died, when human civilization is wiped out, when the sun extinguishes, when stars die and galaxies dissolve - that one percent, that one flower offered to God remains imprinted upon my soul.

There is no loss or diminution. I do not need to garner the support of millions of people, win medals or championships or awards. I most likely will never be remembered for much, just like the trillions of other forgotten people who have lived and died on this earth. But God will remember that I offered Him one flower with a smile on my face and a glimmer of affection.

3: O Infallible One

CHAPTER 1, TEXTS 21-22: Arjuna said: O infallible one, please draw my chariot between the two armies so that I may see those present here, who desire to fight, and with whom I must contend in this great trial of arms.

Srila Prabhupad offers an astounding line of logic in his commentary on this verse. First, he notes that Krishna, the Supreme Lord, is serving as a charioteer, which is a humble service in a time of war - certainly no martial glory goes to a chariot driver. Prabhupad mentions that "[Krishna] was engaged in the service of His friend" (45). If Krishna and Arjuna are friends, this must mean that there is affection between them. So not only is Krishna - The Supreme Lord - offering service to someone else, there is also friendship between them. This is a very unusual dynamic in all of world theology.

God is great. God is powerful. God is omniscient.

God is... a servant? God is... a friend? 

This is very unusual.

Then, Prabhupad notes that Arjuna orders Krishna - The Supreme Lord - to do his bidding. What is fascinating about this interaction is not so much that a soul like Arjuna orders God to do his bidding - after all, I would imagine that most of the world makes demands and requests and prayers addressed to God all day and all night long. What's wondrous is that Krishna does not hesitate to comply (45). The fact that Krishna complies with the request of his friend without hesitation is why Prabhupad reasons that "He is addressed as infallible" (45). According to Google dictionary, the secondary definition of "infallible" is "never failing; always effective" so in this context, this makes very clear sense. Krishna does not fail in his duty, he is effective.

The primary definition of infallible, though, is "being incapable of making mistakes or being wrong" (Google dictionary). Naturally, this definition has many religious overtones - after all, to make mistakes is very, very human. To be completely free of mistakes must mean that one transcends this human condition. In the Catholic tradition, "papal infallibility" means that the pope "cannot err when he teaches in matters of faith and morals" (britannica.com) and in Islam, ismah means "incapable of making mistakes or errors" (al-islam.org). All of these contexts of being infallible are connected to the divine, either attributed to God Himself or someone empowered by God (such as the pope or a prophet).

In this verse, Prabhupad translates the word acyuta as "O infallible one" and according to the Monier-Williams Sanskrit dictionary, acyuta may also be translated as "not fallen." This is significant because one may draw the conclusion that The Supreme Lord has "fallen" and lowered Himself in order to be a mere chariot driver and to be ordered about by, technically, an ordinary soul.

Thus we can go in two different philosophical directions. The first is that Krishna is simply an ordinary man in history who played an interesting part in this epic story of the Pandavas. This would reconcile the mystery that Krishna would take on the role as a chariot driver, a menial servant.

The second direction is that Krishna never existed and his personality is a metaphor for God and the Bhagavad-gita is an extended analogy of the soul inquiring about divine truth. This would reconcile the mystery that Krishna is repeatedly addressed as infallible. (Regarding the possibility that Krishna was a prophet, later in the Bhagavad-gita Krishna is addressed as Jagatpati, the ruler of the worlds, and Bhuta Bhavana, the origin of all beings, as well as other divine titles that show that He is not simply empowered by God but IS God.)

How to reconcile these two seemingly opposing ideas? Krishna is submitting to menial service - a very human task; Krishna is addressed as infallible?

Maybe there's a third option: What if Krishna is submitting to a menial service AND He's infallible? That's what the Bhagavad-Gita states after all, As It Is, right here is verses 21 and 22. This brings us back to how we started this post: Krishna a) is a servant, b) is a friend, and now c) does not hesitate to follow Arjuna's orders. This all implies a deeply loving, trusting relationship. And a loving relationship means reciprocation.

No loving relationship can be sustained without reciprocation. Prabhupad emphasizes that in fact, "[Krishna] takes greater pleasure in His pure devotee's assuming the advantageous position of ordering Him than He does in being the giver of orders" (45). We can safely conclude Krishna actually feels greater pleasure to be ordered about (by His pure devotee), which is shown by his lack of hesitation to follow those orders, than to be at the helm of the chariot giving orders to Arjuna.

Thus, we now have a third direction, which is that Krishna IS a man in order to facilitate a loving relationship with his friend, Arjuna. At the same time, He is the Supreme Lord who has come in the form of a man in order to serve not only Arjuna but all souls who are inquiring about God and the nature of divine truth.

This means that we may all cultivate a loving friendship with Krishna, with God, a real person with a face and a smile. The goal, of course, would never be to order Him about. After all, Prabhupad writes that "The servitor is always ready to render service to the Lord, and, similarly, the Lord is always seeking an opportunity to render some service to the devotee" (45). This shows that in my eagerness to serve the Lord, there is simply a deep and natural reciprocation for God to be eager to serve me.

How wondrous that if I choose to serve Krishna, I am not emptying my soul and endeavors into a bottomless pit of "divine service" to an invisible God. Service means that I have a relationship with a person, and God actually takes pleasure in reciprocating with my heart.