Tuesday, December 8, 2020

76: Bodily Discomfort

CHAPTER 18, TEXT 8: Anyone who gives up prescribed duties as troublesome or out of fear of bodily discomfort is said to have renounced in the mode of passion. Such action never leads to the elevation of renunciation.

Waking up early in the morning - before the sun rises - to engage in spiritual habits like mantra meditation and devotional singing is considered a foundation for building a strong spiritual practice and consequently a strong spiritual life. 

Let's be honest: waking up early can make for a lot of "bodily discomfort." 

That moment when the alarm rights at 5am? Man. I used to wake up at 5am for years when I taught in New York City, and I kind of got used to it... but not really. Most mornings coming to consciousness was like rising out of molasses, and climbing out of a warm bed into a cold room was as good as scaling Mount Rainier. 

Despite the bodily discomfort, did I do my duty? Yes sir. I woke up. I did mantra meditation. I took a shower and got ready for work and left the apartment often before the sun had even risen. 

But now that I am taking time off from work, right now the prospect of rising early is as palatable and practical as scaling Mount Rainier... in my pajamas. 

That said, Krishna emphasizes in this verse that prescribed duties should not be given up. Prabhupad expands on this point by saying that, "If by ... rising early in the morning one can advance his transcendental Kṛṣṇa consciousness, one should not desist out of fear or because such activities are considered troublesome. Such renunciation is in the mode of passion." Right now I could probably say that I have renounced the activity of rising early in the morning in order to advance my Krsna consciousness. Without work to speed me on, I find no need to swim through molasses and climb a mountain just to do mantra meditation that I end up falling asleep trying to do. That said, renouncing this activity out of bodily discomfort is in the mode of passion, and Prabhupad says that, "The result of passionate work is always miserable." 

I can feel that. I can feel that waking up later, at around 7:30am, is a kind of meek and mundane way to trod through life. Even miserable.  

Forcing myself to follow my prescribed duties or what I know I "should" do has just lead me down a lot of Heartbreak Highways and Dutiful Dead-ends. I am striving to be more compassionate with myself, but it's hard.

I know the highest standard. This verse and Prabhupad say it all quite clearly.  

I'm just not there.

For now. 

And that's all I can do right now. No forcing, just accepting. 

Full purport here: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/18/8/

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