Monday, April 13, 2020

32: The Goal of Life

CHAPTER 7, TEXT 3: Out of many thousands among men, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows Me in truth.

I once asked a parking attendant, "What do you believe is the goal of life?"

Grumpily, he finally responded, "To be happy and make others happy, okay? Now let me get back to giving parking tickets,"

His answer astounded me because not only did I agree with him, I was sure that the whole world would agree with him. Here was some random, ordinary person doing his mediocre job, for all the world - according to spiritual calculations - a lost soul deep in ignorance.

Yet when asked, the goal of life was on the tip of this man's tongue - be happy and make others happy. This is the perfection of life.

In this verse, Krishna says that out of many thousands of men, only one may endeavor for perfection. My sense is that we all know what the perfection of life is; after all, the answer was on the tip of the parking attendant's tongue. But very few people actually endeavor for perfection. Prabhupad writes, "Generally mankind is simply engaged in the animal propensities, namely eating, sleeping, defending and mating, and hardly anyone is interested in transcendental knowledge." Most of us are so caught up in simply surviving in this world, happiness is equated with getting enough food or having a nice place to sleep. We equate "happiness" with surviving with pleasure.

But pleasure comes and goes.

An intelligent person understands that true happiness must transcend the temporary comings and goings of, say, a delicious meal or pleasurable sex. Real happiness must be... eternal.

But the fact is, very few of us are actually interested in eternal happiness. It's just too far off. Better to stick to delicious meals and pleasurable sex.

So it is a rare soul indeed who decides to actually endeavor for real, eternal happiness. And Krishna says that while that soul is rare, s/he achieves happiness every so often.

The thing is, I would also translate the parking attendant's response of the goal of life, "to be happy and make others happy" as to love and be loved. I would dare say that even on a theoretical level, most of the world would agree with this statement. Love is the only way the soul can truly be happy or make others happy.

Thus, to love and be loved is the perfection of life.

Whew.

Love.

What a loaded word.

So let's start with a definition. Brene Brown, a Ph.D. a researcher on shame and connection offers a definition of love: "We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. " (brenebrown.com)

Brown's definition of love offers us the reality that love is not easy. Love takes work. Yet love is the true goal of life - to be vulnerable, to be seen and known, to cultivate connection with trust, respect, and affection. Love is a cultivation that takes time and energy and is fraught with possible pain and hardship.

Love is definitely a kind of happiness that transcends simple pleasure or enjoyment.

In this sense, when Krishna says that even when a rare soul achieves perfection, even more rare is "one who knows Me in truth." Is not Krishna saying here, in Brown's words, that it is rare for Krishna to be "deeply seen and known"?

The path of love is a challenging path, and to love God is the most challenging of all. In Brown's words, it means that to love God we must cultivate trust and respect for God as well as kindness and affection.

To cultivate trust and respect, we must set boundaries, honor our word, show up on time, and more. This is not easy. These things are the nitty-gritty, the nuts and bolts of "love," and this all applies to loving God. The word for the eternal loving relationship between God (Bhagavaan) and the soul (bhakta) is bhakti. Prabhupad writes, "Actually the path of bhakti is not easy. The so-called path of bhakti practiced by unauthorized persons without knowledge of bhakti may be easy, but when it is practiced factually according to the rules and regulations, the speculative scholars and philosophers fall away from the path." This means that the path of loving service to God is not an exercise of the mind meant for textbooks and university halls or even TED Talks. The path of love is bound by rules and regulations, which means that love is meant to be practiced in action. Insincere people will simply fall away.

Brown elaborates on her definition of love by saying that "Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people." This definition aligns well with the understanding that while love of God is present within the heart of every living entity (nitya-siddha krishna-prema ‘sadhya’ kabhu naya, CC Madhya Lila 22.107), that connection must be nurtured and cultivated through service, trust, respect, and kindness.

At the end of the day, if we accept that God is a person, we must also understand that even if we follow every rule and regulation and offer respect and affection to God, He still has free will. Love is not a recipe or a business exchange or a mathematical equation. Love between persons always involves the willingness to open the heart and be vulnerable.

So we do our best. We follow the rules and regulations of love, we show up on time and cultivate love of God through our nitty gritty actions and nitty gritty prayers.

Then maybe one day, most wondrous of all, God may choose to be vulnerable to us, to be deeply seen and known, to be known in truth. In the  purport of this verse, Prabhupad quotes the Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.234: "[Krishna] reveals Himself to the devotees, being pleased with them for their transcendental loving service unto Him.”

Transcendental loving service is meant to demonstrate our sincerity. Service is meant to put our hearts on our sleeve, to unfurl our hearts that have been wound up so tight for so long. How amazing that in seeing this sincerity, God would choose to reveal Himself to US. God would actually be vulnerable and open His heart to be deeply seen and known. I can think of no higher happiness that to have God open his heart to me of His own free will.

Full purport by Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad: https://vedabase.io/en/library/bg/7/3/

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